Thanksgiving is officially over and we all know what time it is – Christmas time! The streets are glowing with lights and people are filling their homes with trees and decorations. Kids bundle up to play outside, praying for a snow day, and spending their weekends baking cookies and watching “The Grinch”. We countdown the days and write our letters, hoping to get everything we wish for. But as we anxiously await his arrival, we can’t help but wonder, how is Santa going to stay safe and healthy this Christmas?

The SANTA-tizing Sled

We all know and love Santa’s sled, and the magic that comes along with it: a bottomless trunk full of presents for little boys and girls all over the world that helps him deliver everything in just one night. This year, Santa’s sled is full of much more than presents. Hand sanitizer, masks, and extra pairs of gloves are stocked up right next to him to make sure he stays sanitized after every stop he makes. Homemade, North Pole hand sanitizer to be exact, which makes this 2020 Christmas even more special. 

The magic that Santa’s elves used to make the sanitizers and masks will not only prevent Santa from contracting the Coronavirus, but will prevent him from spreading it from house to house. An infinite amount of hand sanitizer will provide Santa Claus with the safest environment to travel through and ensure that the Christmas spirit will continue on no matter the circumstance.

And of course, Santa’s mask is like no other. Finding a mask that could cover his entire mouth, nose, and beard was so difficult, that he made it himself. He has spent the last few months of quarantine in the North Pole developing and creating his long, red mask that he will finally get to wear for the first time this Christmas Eve. 

Rudolph’s Fever-Detecting Nose

“Rudolph the red-nose reindeer, had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows” are the lyrics we sing every holiday season. Every child learns the story of Rudolph and his extraordinary nose, no matter how young they are, and you remember it forever. Little did we know that Rudolph’s magical nose would become the best thing for Santa to have with him this Christmas. Just like a thermometer, Rudolph’s nose will shine extra bright over fever-infested homes to warn Santa. If Rudolph’s nose lights up, Santa will know that he needs to airdrop that home’s presents, to avoid any contact he could.

How does airdrop work when it comes to Christmas presents, you’re probably thinking? Over fever-infested homes, Santa’s sled hoovers six feet from the roof and he uses a parachute to carefully send the bag of presents down the chimney. Along with that he will send down the North Pole Coronavirus medicine, that will magically heal the sick people for the rest of the holiday season. Because who really wants to spend Christmas day sneezing and coughing?

He Sees You when You’re Sleeping, He Knows when You’re Awake, He Knows if you are Experiencing Body Aches

Even though Rudolph is extremely helpful when it comes to detecting fever-infested homes, Santa already knows with his magical mind when something is off with a house he is delivering to. In any year prior to 2020, we all know that Santa will not deliver to your house until he knows that you are sleeping. This year, he is using those same magical powers to sense if you are experiencing body aches, a dry cough, or labored breathing. 

Before he departs for his trip, he will use his map to pinpoint each house that may be infected with COVID, to prepare for the trip. If he misses a house, his “Santa-senses” will provide him with the information he needs to know to stay healthy and away from the virus.

The True Magic of Christmas

Between his powers, Rudolph’s nose, and his SANTA-tizing sled, Santa will have one safe trip and keep the little boys and girls around the world safe along with him. So, don’t worry Karens, Santa Claus isn’t going to bring any “cooties” into your perfectly sanitized, germ-free household, and no, Christmas will not be ruined for your perfect children. 

If anything, Christmas is the last thing this year that could hopefully save 2020. After a year of sadness and loss for many, the joy that is spread during the holiday season is beyond compare. So do your part, and spread kindness and joy (socially-distanced of course) to the people around you to restore that magical Christmas spirit.

No, seriously, there’s already enough people on Santa’s Naughty List this year.